How do I choose a 'cause'?

Often it's best to stick with what you know when working out how and where to help in the world. Leave the areas you don't know about to the people who do.

This doesn't only make sense because everyone has certain passions and experiences for a reason, but because trying to change something you don't really understand can back fire. 

Think of a time when you've felt really upset or troubled, and someone has said to you, "oh, I know just how you feel" except its obvious that they don't. What usually follows is well meaning, but inappropriate and sometimes hurtful, advice and platitudes that leave you feeling more alone and isolated than ever. 

Even our most well meaning actions, even when motivated by love, can make people feel like they are less understood instead of more if we try to help without really understanding. 

Ok, so by now you might be thinking, what is this post? It feels like you are discouraging me from helping?

But bear with me - I have a bigger and more important point. And this applies to everyone, whether you feel you 'know' about a certain area of life or not. 

Get to know people. 

Have a passion to help women in prostitution? You don't have to have experienced it to help. But you do need to know a prostitute. 

Have a passion to help single mums? You don't have to be a single mum yourself, but you do need to know one. 

And this applies even if you do have experience of knowledge already. Lets say you are a single mum, or you have been a prostitute, or you have come through abuse/poverty/depression...

You've got a good base to work from. But no two people have gone through the exact same thing.

This is why standardised 'programs' might reach a few but are impossible to make effective for everyone. 

So always focus on the individual person.

Sometimes just listening and seeking to actually know another person without any other agenda is the most important thing that person needs.

Just think about how you feel when you're talking to someone who is genuinely interested in knowing you. 

The help will come out of that relationship. 

The first and best thing we can all do when we have a passion, or when we are choosing a 'cause' to support, is get know people - then the 'cause' will choose you. 

Your life is the best persuasion

Persuade: induce or cause someone to believe or do something based on reasoning and argument, esp. after sustained effort.

It's not always easy to persuade people to change. What seems obvious and essential to you may not seem so clear cut to someone else.

In looking at injustice or the needs of the world, if you feel passionately about something take a minute to think about how you got this point of conviction about what needs to be done...

Chances are you didn't get there over night.
Chances are it was just a single conversation that convinced you.
Chances are there was a serious of events, lessons, circumstances, conversations and heart changes that happened along the way - and continue to happen.

Even if you remember one distinct event or winning argument that was a turning point, think of all that set you up to be able hear it.

Even if you feel you've been a passionate and compassionate advocate all your life, what circumstances of your personality and upbringing might have been different to others to set you up for that?

We need to give others grace for what we see as their ignorance or blind spots - because chances are we have them too!

With all our diversity of personalities, skills and life experience, everybody's journey is going to be different.

Sometimes speaking up is important and impactful. The conversations we have with others will plant seeds and strike sparks.

But don't be discouraged if no one seems to hear you yet. And don't be judgemental or harsh towards others - don't dwell on why you feel they 'just don't get it!'

Remember the fear and certainty that can come with change - with the unknown in the face of what feels just too big.

Instead, let your life be the example. Let your life be the argument. Let your life be the proof.

People are much more persuaded by witnessing a life of love and compassion than they are by just hearing about it.

Live out what you believe in and see what happens!