When I started uni I found it wasn't easy to make new friends, especially if you were a bit shy and initially quiet like me. I was just one of hundreds of other students in the huge lecture halls, and we'd shuffle in and shuffle out barely making eye contact with anyone we didn't already know.
One day I must have been feeling a bit lonely, and I decided "this is ridiculous. Amidst thousands of other people its crazy that I barely talk to anyone all day." So as I took a seat in the lecture hall I decided that rather than stare blankly til it was over then shuffle anonymously out again, I would smile at the next person who came along and sat near me.
I did it, and I still remember the way her face lit up as she smiled back; as she recognised the acknowledgement of her humanity in that small gesture.
We became lecture friends - once we were no longer in the same classes I lost touch. Because what I only glimpsed then I didn't really understand until now; back then I was still self-absorbed in my own anxieties and so I missed the real point of making a friend.
The smile didn't work because it made me seem like a nice person; it had an effect because it validated the other person. When we smile we say, "I see you. I acknowledge you. You are a reason for joy."
And when we realise that the value and purpose of our lives comes not so much from what we think of ourselves, but from how we make others feel, that's when we really start to make a difference.
Smile: it costs you nothing, benefits you greatly, and to someone else it could mean everything.
It's the easiest way to change the world.
So true Jess! Xx
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