Why you should ignore me (& maybe even stone me).

It's fashionable to be a revolutionary these days. 

That's why I can start Girl Talk, say pretty much whatever I want, make grand claims about changing the world and the worst I expect to get is eye rolling looks as one of those slightly hippie-like idealists who probably drinks green smoothies and buys fair trade coffee pods for her home coffee machine...

There's a lot to be admired about the new trends - the way more people are identifying as activists, the way more people are challenging the status quo.

But what frightens me is when an old trend is just replaced with the new 'trendy'. 

When we jump on bandwagons and support causes, are we really moved from deep within by compassion and love - or are we simply saying, "my status quo is cooler than your status quo."

That's why I want to be ignored. 

I don't want to cave to appealing to the masses. I don't want to compromise to keep popularity. I don't want to mistake the high of having influence for the real influence of love. 

I want to fade into the background while Jesus does His work. 

Because while it's currently trendy to sacrifice and give - we are doing it from a place of safety. From a place of societal acceptance and even praise. 

But if that stops? If it's no longer popular to act justly & love mercy? Was it based on Jesus or the shifting sands of social trends? 

"Because Sexy Christianity feels pretty good until someone throws a stone at you....

And right after American culture moves on from Africa, humanitarian aid, human rights, and issues like the AIDS epidemic and human trafficking crisis, as I promise it will soon, what will our radical faith look like? When being a “sold-out follower of Jesus” and “living simply so that others might simply live” loses its cultural lackluster, what will be next?"

http://kyledonn.com/blog/sexy-christianity

When the rest of the world moves on from the cause-du-jour, will I still be here, really loving God and loving my neighbour? Even if people ridicule me for it? Even if they stone me for it?

And that's what I want Girl Talk to be about. Building real unity and relationships to carry us through anything.

It's not about a movement or a campaign. It's not a once off fundraiser or 'good deed' for the year. It's not even about a new kind of lifestyle. 

It's a true transformation of the heart that leaves us changed permanently. Because when we are in unity we get a glimpse of eternity, and we will never look back. 

A cause will lose its popularity. A movement will end. A lifestyle will go out of fashion. 

But Jesus - who is the same yesterday, today and always - will still be enough for us. Even if it costs us everything. 

How do I choose a 'cause'?

Often it's best to stick with what you know when working out how and where to help in the world. Leave the areas you don't know about to the people who do.

This doesn't only make sense because everyone has certain passions and experiences for a reason, but because trying to change something you don't really understand can back fire. 

Think of a time when you've felt really upset or troubled, and someone has said to you, "oh, I know just how you feel" except its obvious that they don't. What usually follows is well meaning, but inappropriate and sometimes hurtful, advice and platitudes that leave you feeling more alone and isolated than ever. 

Even our most well meaning actions, even when motivated by love, can make people feel like they are less understood instead of more if we try to help without really understanding. 

Ok, so by now you might be thinking, what is this post? It feels like you are discouraging me from helping?

But bear with me - I have a bigger and more important point. And this applies to everyone, whether you feel you 'know' about a certain area of life or not. 

Get to know people. 

Have a passion to help women in prostitution? You don't have to have experienced it to help. But you do need to know a prostitute. 

Have a passion to help single mums? You don't have to be a single mum yourself, but you do need to know one. 

And this applies even if you do have experience of knowledge already. Lets say you are a single mum, or you have been a prostitute, or you have come through abuse/poverty/depression...

You've got a good base to work from. But no two people have gone through the exact same thing.

This is why standardised 'programs' might reach a few but are impossible to make effective for everyone. 

So always focus on the individual person.

Sometimes just listening and seeking to actually know another person without any other agenda is the most important thing that person needs.

Just think about how you feel when you're talking to someone who is genuinely interested in knowing you. 

The help will come out of that relationship. 

The first and best thing we can all do when we have a passion, or when we are choosing a 'cause' to support, is get know people - then the 'cause' will choose you. 

Your life is the best persuasion

Persuade: induce or cause someone to believe or do something based on reasoning and argument, esp. after sustained effort.

It's not always easy to persuade people to change. What seems obvious and essential to you may not seem so clear cut to someone else.

In looking at injustice or the needs of the world, if you feel passionately about something take a minute to think about how you got this point of conviction about what needs to be done...

Chances are you didn't get there over night.
Chances are it was just a single conversation that convinced you.
Chances are there was a serious of events, lessons, circumstances, conversations and heart changes that happened along the way - and continue to happen.

Even if you remember one distinct event or winning argument that was a turning point, think of all that set you up to be able hear it.

Even if you feel you've been a passionate and compassionate advocate all your life, what circumstances of your personality and upbringing might have been different to others to set you up for that?

We need to give others grace for what we see as their ignorance or blind spots - because chances are we have them too!

With all our diversity of personalities, skills and life experience, everybody's journey is going to be different.

Sometimes speaking up is important and impactful. The conversations we have with others will plant seeds and strike sparks.

But don't be discouraged if no one seems to hear you yet. And don't be judgemental or harsh towards others - don't dwell on why you feel they 'just don't get it!'

Remember the fear and certainty that can come with change - with the unknown in the face of what feels just too big.

Instead, let your life be the example. Let your life be the argument. Let your life be the proof.

People are much more persuaded by witnessing a life of love and compassion than they are by just hearing about it.

Live out what you believe in and see what happens!

A Smile: the easiest way to change the world.

Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. -Mother Teresa





When I started uni I found it wasn't easy to make new friends, especially if you were a bit shy and initially quiet like me. I was just one of hundreds of other students in the huge lecture halls, and we'd shuffle in and shuffle out barely making eye contact with anyone we didn't already know.

One day I must have been feeling a bit lonely, and I decided "this is ridiculous. Amidst thousands of other people its crazy that I barely talk to anyone all day." So as I took a seat in the lecture hall I decided that rather than stare blankly til it was over then shuffle anonymously out again, I would smile at the next person who came along and sat near me.

I did it, and I still remember the way her face lit up as she smiled back; as she recognised the acknowledgement of her humanity in that small gesture.

We became lecture friends - once we were no longer in the same classes I lost touch. Because what I only glimpsed then I didn't really understand until now; back then I was still self-absorbed in my own anxieties and so I missed the real point of making a friend.

The smile didn't work because it made me seem like a nice person; it had an effect because it validated the other person. When we smile we say, "I see you. I acknowledge you. You are a reason for joy."

And when we realise that the value and purpose of our lives comes not so much from what we think of ourselves, but from how we make others feel, that's when we really start to make a difference.

Smile: it costs you nothing, benefits you greatly, and to someone else it could mean everything.

It's the easiest way to change the world.

It starts with us

If you're an Australian you'll know the results of our recent Federal Election mean we have a new Prime Minister.

In case you're not in Australia, you should know that we've had tumultuous few years of government and a lot of people were pretty unhappy with the way things were going.

But with a change of Government, I've still seen plenty of unhappiness with the election the Liberals and of Toby Abbott as Prime Minister.

One of the criticisms is the projected financial cuts to get rid of the debt our country is in. One of these is reported to be a cut of $4.5 billion of foreign aid.

In the midst of the our cry, I had a thought... Are we really surprised?

Look at any household in the nation - when there's a financial crunch, what is often high on the list of cuts? Giving. When people are worried about their own security, they stop giving to others.

I'm not sure why the Government is expected to act any differently on a large scale than we do on a small scale.

That's why, while I'd be happy if Australia gave more instead of less and I'll lend my voice to make that known, I'm not actually that concerned with what our government does.

What I'm mostly concerned about is what we do, the people, the individuals who make up our families and communities.

Are we practicing generosity? And are we practicing it even when our own circumstances aren't certain?

Are we teaching our children to think of others at least as much as themselves? Are we leading by example in the way that we live and love others?

That's what matters to me - that's what will make a real difference in the long run. If we transform the hearts of our people to be compassionate and generous no matter what, if we raise up a new generation of passionate, selfless young people - just imagine the change we will effect. Far more than $4.5 billion worth.

Who's with me?

What can you do today to show with your actions and not just your words that generosity matters? That people matter?

Build Change Into Your Life

The other morning I went for a walk in to the little town I live in, got some fresh air, bought a few organic pears from a little food store, talked to some locals... and felt really good.

And it made me think - this is what changing the world looks like.

It's not - or shouldn't be - the exclusive domain of radical, extremist and hippies - A few doing a lot. It should look more like many doing a little. We think a little won't make a difference, but if we all do it, and you add up that change, and watch it roll on and pick up momentum through the coming generations we influence... if you could see the future you would be astounded at the difference your few little changes will make!

But you do have to make those changes. I promise you, it's easier than you think.

Compare my morning to the normal busy, impersonal shopping centre that encourages us to buy, rush, overspend, be a faceless consumer. It's a benefit to your sanity and happiness as much as it is doing good for the world.

There is a place for big events, campaigns and fundraisers. But if these simply raise hype about one issue for a limited time then fade away again - if they don't motivate sustainable change - their effect is limited. These big things need to happen within the climate of daily, little things we can all do.

Change is a lot easier, and a lot more effective long term, if it is built into your life, rather than something that you have to make the effort to tack on top when you think of it.

Something built in, like your child sponsorship coming out of your account each month, or choosing a local shop to frequent as part of your routine, or even having a jar at home that you empty loose change in to each night, and donate it when it's full - even these little habits can add up to real difference. Not only because they give to others, but because they serve as reminder to consistently think of others.

The Israelites even had built in systems to ensure justice. Every fifty years, Jubilee ensured families who had lost their land had it given back, had debts cancelled, so that everyone had a chance to get back on their feet. It was a built in justice system, to make sure things never got too out of balance. God obviously knew that no matter how good our intentions, human beings are always going to get busy, lazy and forgetful, and without a reminder, it's easy to forget how long it's been since we've thought of others.

It's not mandated any more, but it doesn't hurt to take that as inspiration and think of ways we can build change into our life. A massive, radical life overhaul is too daunting for most people - not to mention impractical and mostly unnecessary. Don't try and look at everything that needs to change about the world and try to tackle it all at once. Just start with one thing you have control over.

Here's a simple plan you could follow over the next 4 weeks:

1. Week one, start putting your loose change in a jar each night. (When it's full, invest it in Kiva, or donate to another cause.)

2. This week, buy a fair trade brand of coffee or tea instead of your normal brand. Invite a friend around for coffee and tell them why you're using a new product.

3. Encourage a woman - every Monday from now, try to make it a habit to encourage a female friend, co-worker or leader. It can be as simple as a text or facebook message, to a handwritten letter.

4. Find a local store or market you can add to your weekly shopping. Try and build it into your routine, even if you just buy some fruit from there each week. 

5. Continue these things you've put in place, and when these become easy and effortless, add some more...


So, these things seem little, but let's think about the difference they are really making:

1. Making this a habit encourages us to remember to be generous, and to find worthy causes.

2. This reminds us of the impact of our choices, to think more about how much we buy and what we really need, to consider others in our daily lives.

3. This reminds us to build each other up, to value the contributions of women, to celebrate each other rather than compete.

4. We are connecting with others - interactions like these help us live longer and happier. We are supporting the people in our community, and reminding ourselves to think about the real lives behind the things we do and buy every day.


Do this consistently, and you'll be creating permanent change in your own heart and thinking. What influence might this have on those who see what you do and the way you act - our friends, our daughters...


What do you think? What other ways can we build little bits of change it our lives?

Who Women Should Vote for in the Australian Federal Election 2013

I'm probably the least qualified person to direct anyone's voting choices, never mind the fact that doing so would be just a little undemocratic... so of course I'm not actually going to tell you who to vote for.

But in creating Girl Talk and thinking about women's issues in the world and in Australia, I thought this year would be a good year to actually start brushing up on my politics.

Normally I'm just glad I don't have to make all the policies and decisions, and that's as far as my thoughts on politics go. But I started to think, that being glad I don't make the big decisions should actually motivate me to choose someone who I think will do it responsibly on my behalf.

But where to start? I didn't even know which party would most closely match my own political views, let alone how to find their positions and policies and make a choice.

So if you're a woman and wondering how to make your vote count for something this Federal Election (September 7th 2013), then here are some resources you might find helpful.

• The National Foundation for Australian Women has very helpfully compared a range of policies (childcare, leave, human rights, violence, health etc.) with a view to how they impact women. Go Here to have a look at the results. (They look at the main parties - Labour, Coalition, Greens).

• Women Vote.org has a list of resources to help you clarify and assess your own political views and help you find parties and politicians who think similarly.

• Family Voice Australia outlines responses from a range of parties to a few key questions - not specifically related to women, but things that affect families plus others.

So hopefully that might help make it a little less confusing for you, if you're wondering how to get a handle on policies and how to decide who to vote for.



A few other facts of interest:

- 30% is widely regarded as 'critical mass' - the percentage of representation for equal participation.

- As of 1st Jan 2012, NSW had the least female representation in Parliament - just 25.2% over both houses. Followed closely by SA with 27.5 %

- From 1987 - 2010 The Greens have consistently had the highest percentage of female candidates for the senate of all the major parties. In 2010 it was at 71.4%!

- From 1943 - 2011, the Labor Party has had the highest number of women elected to the senate.

- South Australia led the country in 1894 when women won the right to vote and sit in Parliament.

- There have been no Indigenous women elected to the Commonwealth Parliament since Federation in 1901. (Indigenous women are under-represented in all state and territory parliaments. Carol Martin was elected to the Western Australian Parliament on 10 February 2001, becoming the first Indigenous woman to be elected to any Australian parliament.)

UPDATE: Nova Peris, first indigenous woman to be elected to the Senate, 2013.


(Source: aph.gov.au)

Why focusing on the 'pay gap' might be the wrong approach

Women have come a long way in the work force - but it's still out there that the 'pay gap' between men and women still exists in the region of 20% or a bit under.

People hear this statistic and think that it's saying, all things being equal, women are earning nearly a fifth less than men and their response is, that's not right!

If that indeed is what it's saying, that response is justified. The problem is, statistics don't always say why we think they're saying.

This number is not a comparison of a man vs a woman with the same qualifications and experience in the same role. This is just a statement on the average earnings of all adults considered to be full time workers.

The reasons for this are not necessarily discrimination. There are many other factors that can make up that 'gap'.

Women on average work fewer hours per day than men. Women may gravitate towards lower paying jobs because they are more family friendly, have more regular or flexible hours, require less travel and many other factors.

Some say this has been 'socialised' into us, to aspire to less, to expect less of ourselves. There may be something in that - this type of subtle ingrained discrimination exists even in what we tell ourselves. (For example, women are less likely to ask for a raise or promotion than men.)

But there is another side to that explanation that I find a bit insulting. The insinuation that if you choose a 'lower flying' life as a woman you are somehow betraying your gender.

This is why I say focusing on the pay gap is the wrong approach. It simplifies things too much and fails to celebrate and support those women who are choosing family or a different lifestyle over career aspirations.

We cannot champion the rights of women to have career opportunities equal to men by devaluing women who genuinely do not want that sort of career.

I'm not saying there is no discrimination. There is plenty of room for improvement in making work places more family friendly, to support women earning money as well as having children.

But we've got to be sensible about it. We need to know what we are talking about if we want to be taken seriously. We can't just throw numbers around as if that wins the argument.

It not as simple as closing a pay gap - if women continue having families and choosing certain lifestyles the gap will never close. It can't. Women cannot logically earn the same as men if they take time off to have children, don't want to work long hours or travel as far etc.

And that should be ok. Why does being valued as a woman always seem to be defined in terms of how we match up to men?

(And I want to say, men shouldn't be valued against how willing they are to pursue aggressive careers or not either.)

We should be focusing on the kinds of things that are really the issue:

Are we teaching our girls (through our words, attitudes and behaviours) their value in character, love and determination rather than indoctrination.

(Pursuing a career is not unladylike; staying at home is not lazy or un-aspirational. and its not that black and white. Whatever you do, do it with all your heart.)

Are we giving girls equal access and support in education to let them think for themselves?

Are we building up the value of family (for men and women)?

Are we enabling people to have the opportunity to support their family securely and reasonably without having to work unreasonably?


What do others think? What other things are important to focus on? Do you think Australia is doing pretty well at this? Have you seen any evidence of a discrimination based pay gap?

The Syrian Crisis and Why Women are at Risk

Unicef and The UN Refugee Angency are holding an emergency appeal for donations to help people affected and displaced by the Syrian conflict.
75% of the refugees are women and children. Getting female refugees support is critical because, as refugees and displaced people in limbo, women and girls are more likely to miss out on their basic rights because of gender discrimination, and are also at a much higher risk of sexual abuse and violence. Read more here about why women are at risk.

What's happening anyway?

Where? Syria - in the middle of Lebanon, Mediterranean sea, Turkey, Iraq, Jordan and Israel.




Population about 22 million
Religion, approx 75% Sunni (Islam)
Official language, Arabic

What?

Civil war
Began March 2011 an ongoing
Approx 3 million internally displaced
Almost 2 million refugees


Chances are just glancing over this you aren't all that moved. It's understandable - most of us are far removed from war. It's hard to really picture or grasp. Millions of people is too large to even picture

But that's a probablem because, though we don't mean to be callous, it is real people - real human beings with lives just as precious and fragile as ours - that are suffering while we do nothing.

If you want to care and help - or even want to want to care - then find ways to make it real for yourself. Put a real face to the statistics.

Don't dwell on the horror of it - just make it real and if you feel the pain of it let it move you with compassion to help. Use your little bit to give to alleviate even just a little bit of someone else's suffering. If we could all do just a little bit, the ripples would go far.

I encourage you to pray for the people in this whole situation - both perpetrators and victims - and consider donating to the relief funds.

This was drawn by a 10 year old girl

http://twitter.com/tv_Amaro/status/369893509295538177/photo/1

Welcome! It's a new day...

Welcome to the first Girl Talk blog post.

I hope you have begun to explore this website and begun to be inspired about what girls can achieve!

The problems are big, it's true. When I started to learn about what is really going on around the world, even in Australia, in my own home city, and the ways women are being oppressed and down trodden, I was horrified and saddened. As a new mother myself, to read stories of of mothers selling their own children; or parents wanting to take their own lives because the despair of watching their children starve to death or be raped and maimed is too much; or to hear of girls being trafficked and sold into sex slavery, and beaten into compliance, and then going on to do the same to other girls later on because they have lost all hope of there being any other way to survive....

Well, at first it's shocking and almost too much to comprehend. But then it makes you take stock. It makes you look around at your own life and realise how good you have it. Even through the lowest points in my life I have always had support, always had a back up plan, always had a lifeline.

Some people have none of this.

But that shouldn't make us feel guilty. I think it's a sense of being overwhelmed and not wanting to feel guilt that makes many people turn a blind eye and just go about their lives. I understand this. It seems like too much, and if you don't know what to do about it, it's too painful to dwell on.

But there is another option. There's another response other than guilt. And that is empowerment.

How does learning about the suffering of billions of people make me feel empowered?

Well, because I realised that I can do something. Rather than feel guilt that my life is so easy in comparison, I realised that the blessings I have received in my life have set me up perfectly to make a difference in the lives of others.

I feel empowered because that burning fire in my heart now has an outlet. My voice has a reason to be raised.

Do you feel it too? Do you feel a stirring and lifting of your spirit that the world is changing and we, sisters, are a part of it?

More than a part - I believe the answer to many of the worlds problems is women. Women coming together and lifting each other, for the good of their families; for their good of their communities; for the good of all humanity.



This website is more than just a bit of information. It's more than just a few links to some organisations.

It's a call. A call to raise your voice in defence of the poor, the oppressed, the downtrodden. I hope this website can be the beginning of something that is more than just the sum of it's parts.

And it will be, if you join in and make it that way.



So what can you do here?
If you haven't already:
1. Click "Start Here" on the menu bar. You'll find more information about why this website is here.

2. Go to "Learn" in the "Start Here" drop down menu - find resources to help get educated about what is happening in the world. (If you have resource recommendations, get in touch.)

3. Start talking about what you are learning. Raise awareness.

3. Go to "Do" in the "Start Here" drop down menu - find practical and pretty simple ideas about how you can make a real difference, whatever your interests, gifts and talents. (If you have suggestions, get in touch.)

4. Post in the forums

5. Tell your story - every one has got one. Submit it as a blog post, and it might even get published here.

6. Read the blog - it will periodically contain news stories, inspiration, and ways to make a difference, as well as featuring great organisations & your stories.

7. If you are in Adelaide, come the "Launch Lunch" and meet with other like minded women for lunch, fair trade coffee and chocolate tasting, a speaker and general motivation.

8. Then stay tuned for bigger and better things to come!